ASSTR is Down

After the downtime on July 5th, ASSTR appears to be running as an archive; my site came back to a years older version of itself, the Form Mail code provided by ASSTR no longer seems to function, and there's been no response from the Admins at this time.

If ASSTR is really gone, that's a big loss to the world of erotica writers; I've been on there for 10 years (June 2007) and saw great results from having my more than 200 stories posted there.

I'm back up on another host for adult material but this discovery and presumption is saddening.

Lacking Motivation & A Reason

My motivation to do this work has been in a tailspin for a bit, first to favor getting out in the community, now, likely, over the fact that it's just so under appreciated in the local community. Obviously I did this writing for you all (and myself), the people who enjoy it but, despite more than a decade of this, I realize how little anyone really cares. I'm probably putting my focus on the wrong people but you hope, the things you do, afford you some cred and that people find it interesting. But, so far, they don't.

That's not to say I'm not making friends on my own merits but it's hard being in a community that's constantly "playing" and you're generally not. And I must admit, I've probably done more play than a lot of people who do after only about three months in the scene but it's hard when there's no consistency, when you go out many night after night and nothing seems to happen. You're the man, you still have to take the initiative, even if you're on the submissive side of the slash.

Maybe things will work out, maybe this is just a temporary funk on my writing, maybe I'll find a reason to keep writing but, right now, I don't know what that is, what the point is, what's the benefit anymore.

In some senses, I am interested (sorta) in writing stories much less focused on our fetish; maybe I could rebrand myself and whatever...anyway, if you have ideas with broader fetish interests, let me know and maybe I can make it happen.

I wish everyone the best in life and in love; don't take for granted what you have, it may not be obvious to you, but someone wishes they were you and had your opportunities.

An Impassioned Plea for Understanding on the Value of Creative Work

I don't want to lecture with this as much as make an impassioned plea for understanding. We live under capitalism, and under that system, people expect to be paid for work they put in.

In most other businesses, this goes without saying; but for artists of all types, our value to put ink to paper, words to the screen, images on camera, is highly disrespected when it comes to work put in versus the value society affords it. At least this is true amongst the plebs, Hollywood is a different story if you make it through those gates.

I've been in your position and I still very much am but I also recognize that I have to give back to that which i enjoy if I wish for it to remain in existence.

I didn't charge anything for a long time because I know I didn't like getting charged for things and I doubted anyone would pay. As I got older, I realized  it doesn't fuel me to get money, I enjoy working, but what does fuel me is having value. And it's increasingly hard to see that value in a world that only worships and runs on money, not hard work. Look around and you'll see it's not about what's inside, it's about the package, how you market, how you sell; this is all that matters in our world.

So I hope everyone understands that I'm not trying to march out here like a mustache twirling villain for you to empty your wallets to me; I just want my work to be seen with the value I know you all see in it.

And I thank you all for being fans for so long or even if you just became a fan; I know our community is unfortunately small and I don't think it will ever be respected the way foot fetishism might be but we are all we have.

I don't know if this post was worth it or made enough sense but the bottom line is that I am your ally and your friend, always.

The Value of Creative Work

Originally posted at Closet Fetishist's Stories

Let me say that I am glad there's still a passionate following here that are constantly eager for more stories. It means a lot to me and the other writers I'm sure to have people reading and praising the work we do; it's one of the reasons we do it, why we offer our creative outputs for everyone to enjoy for free. We get nothing out of writing a story and keeping it to ourselves, so those that enjoy them, they are what keep us going.

At the same time, many of us, as far as I know, are not making a living at this; it's doubtful we could add this work to any sort of professional portfolio, even if it was to write porn (but then who needs a portfolio to write porn professionally; and who is looking at that portfolio?). Anyways, I'm saying we all have lives outside of this mostly hobbyist pursuit. So there will be lulls, both in content and updates; we appreciate your patience when it comes to these lulls.

We live in a world today where creative work is heavily undervalued; and because this is smut, it's probably the least valued of the creative works. That's because it only gains value through building horniness and loses it all immediately after; that's why porn ads play up the hardcore factor, hoping to get you horny enough to have no choice but to buy. (Have to say that recent Star Wars porn with the Twi'lek looked pretty good, good production value - at least from the advertisement).

I've been writing this stuff since 2006 and I've never made a dime doing it; I never did it for the money and frankly I was a bit afraid to make any given that this was "porn content" and you can barely find a web host willing to house it. But it's 10 years later as well, what started in my youth is now in my adulthood, a time when you look for time sucks and fat to trim from your life; you eliminate things holding you down and taking time from things that matter, things that are valued. You start asking yourself, what do I get out of this? Is it worth it?

At one time, I thought it was merely hard work that allowed one to succeed beyond their wildest dreams. But unfocused hard work, hard work without a goal goes nowhere; maybe that's why some of the best disappear and move on to better things, things with a future. Or maybe they give up their creative pursuits in favor of a more mainstream life, working 9-5. Surely, there's some of both.

I do want to thank those still writing, still offering their work for free to all us; we'd have nothing but our own imaginations without them. They continue to let us into their minds and share with us their incredible stories.